Navigating a conversation with a narcissist isn’t always easy – they’re experts at using language to make you feel lesser.
They don’t come right out and say it, but they have a knack for making you feel like you’re beneath them. It’s all part of their game.
Spotting these phrases requires a keen ear, and understanding them can be your secret weapon.
In the following article, I’ll be highlighting 10 subtle phrases a narcissist will use to communicate that you’re beneath them.
Let’s get started.
One of the tried-and-true tactics in a narcissist’s playbook is to subtly undermine your intelligence or comprehension. They do this to emphasize their own superiority, and to make you doubt your own thoughts and abilities.
It starts with an offhand comment. “I’m sure you wouldn’t understand…” or “This might be over your head…” and so on. Look closely, and you’ll see it for what it is – a veiled attempt to belittle you.
It’s more than just a condescending remark. It’s a way of asserting dominance, and it’s classic narcissistic behavior.
You’re smarter than they give you credit for, and you’re definitely capable of understanding whatever they think you can’t.
Ah, the backhanded compliment. This seems to be a favorite among narcissists I’ve encountered. When I landed my first major project at work, one individual in my life, let’s call him ‘John’ for anonymity, responded with, “That’s cute! I remember when I was just starting out.”
At first glance, it seemed like John was being supportive. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like a slight. It was as if he was saying my accomplishment was insignificant compared to his own experiences.
This is another way narcissists subtly communicate that you’re beneath them. They tend to belittle your achievements, making them seem smaller or less significant than they truly are.
Your success is not small or ‘cute’. It’s a testament to your hard work and dedication. And no one has the right to diminish that.
Narcissists have a unique talent for always being right – at least in their own minds. The phrase “I don’t make mistakes” or any variation thereof is a common one in their repertoire.
In reality, we all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But narcissists have a deep-seated need to maintain an image of perfection, and admitting to a mistake would shatter that image.
According to psychologist Leon F Seltzer, narcissists are often driven by a fear of failure or vulnerability – hence the reluctance to admit any error.
When you hear “I don’t make mistakes”, remember, it’s not an indication of their infallibility. Instead, it’s a reflection of their fear and insecurity.
For a narcissist, the world revolves around them. They have a tendency to steer every conversation back to their favorite topic – themselves.
You might hear phrases like, “Enough about you, let’s talk about me.” or “That’s interesting, but listen to what happened to me…” This signals their need to be the center of attention and their lack of genuine interest in others.
Understanding this can help you manage your expectations when dealing with narcissists. Remember, it’s not about your lack of importance, but their need for self-importance.
Narcissists are experts at shifting blame. Instead of owning up to their actions, they’d rather make it seem like you’re overreacting.
The phrase “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overthinking this” is often used to invalidate your feelings and turn the tables. They make it about your reaction, rather than their behavior.
It’s important to trust your feelings and not let anyone make you feel guilty for having them. Your emotions are valid, and no one has the right to dismiss them.
A narcissist’s world is a place where they bestow favors and you should feel eternally grateful. They often use phrases like, “You should be grateful that I…” to make you feel indebted to them.
Behind these words is a powerful implication – that you owe them something, that you’re somehow less without their contribution.
But remember, everyone deserves kindness and respect, and it shouldn’t come with strings attached. You’re not less because of what someone else gives or doesn’t give to you. You are enough, just as you are.
There was a time when I was preparing for a major presentation. I was nervous, but excited. That’s when I heard the phrase, “I knew you couldn’t do it…” from someone who I thought was supposed to support me.
Narcissists often use these kinds of phrases to undermine your confidence, to make you doubt your abilities. It’s a subtle way of making themselves seem superior, while keeping you in a state of constant self-doubt.
When this happens, remember that you’re not defined by their lack of faith in you. You have the power to prove them wrong. Your capabilities aren’t defined by their beliefs, but by your actions and determination.
It might seem like a simple acknowledgement of effort, but when a narcissist says, “I’ve done so much for you…”, it’s often loaded with unspoken expectations.
The phrase implies that they’ve gone above and beyond for you, and you should be ready to do the same for them. It’s their way of setting up a debt that you never asked for and one that they will continually remind you of.
But here’s the twist – genuine kindness doesn’t come with an invoice. If someone is keeping score, it’s not about you, it’s about their need for control and power.
Narcissists often use the phrase “You’re just like everyone else…”, to make you feel ordinary and unimportant. They do this to elevate themselves, to create a sense of superiority.
But let’s clear this up – being ‘like everyone else’ isn’t a bad thing. It means you’re human, with all the beautiful complexity that comes with it.
Your worth isn’t determined by how different you are from others, but by who you are as an individual. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than special for being human.
This might not always be said in direct terms, but narcissists have a way of communicating this message loud and clear. Whether it’s through condescending remarks, dismissive behavior, or comparisons that belittle you, the underlying message is, “I’m better than you…”.
But here’s the truth – no one is inherently better than anyone else. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, triumphs and failures. Your value isn’t determined by someone else’s skewed perception of superiority. You are enough, just as you are. And that’s something no narcissist can ever take away from you.
The post 10 subtle phrases a narcissist will use to communicate that you’re beneath them appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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