When your child throws a tantrum, you feel guilty. When they eat too much candy, you blame yourself. Welcome to the rollercoaster of mom guilt.
But let me tell you something: it’s not as black and white as it seems. In fact, the whole idea of mom guilt is riddled with misconceptions and harsh truths.
As a mother myself, I can tell you that getting to grips with these eight harsh truths about mom guilt has been a game changer. They’re something every mom needs to hear, so buckle up – it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
The first thing I have to tell you is that mom guilt is largely self-inflicted.
It sneaks up on us, creeping into our minds when we least expect it. Suddenly, we’re drowning in guilt over something as trivial as letting our child eat an extra cookie or skipping a bedtime story because we’re too tired.
But here’s the kicker: more often than not, it’s us making ourselves feel guilty. We set these sky-high expectations for ourselves and then beat ourselves up when we inevitably fail to meet them.
It’s a vicious cycle. But the first step towards breaking free from it is realizing that we’re the ones in control. We are the ones who let mom guilt in and we can be the ones to kick it out.
Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Now take a deep breath and let that sink in.
It took me a while to accept this, but perfection in motherhood is a myth.
I remember one particularly hectic morning. I had overslept, the kids were running late for school, breakfast was a disaster and to top it all off, I had forgotten about an important work meeting.
I spent the entire day berating myself. How could I let things get so out of control? Why couldn’t I handle things better?
But then it hit me – I was trying to be perfect. A perfect mom, a perfect employee, a perfect human being. And that’s just not realistic.
We all have bad days. We all make mistakes. It doesn’t make us bad mothers – it makes us human. So let’s drop the idea of being perfect and focus on being present instead. That’s where true happiness lies.
Believe it or not, guilt isn’t always a bad thing.
In fact, psychologists suggest that moderate levels of guilt can actually indicate good parenting. It means you’re invested and care deeply about your child’s wellbeing. It’s when this guilt becomes excessive or isn’t based on anything concrete, that’s when it turns toxic.
So remember – a little guilt doesn’t make you a bad mother. On the contrary, it shows that you’re attentive and concerned. But don’t let it overstay its welcome and take over your life.
This one’s hard to swallow, but necessary: everyone’s parenting journey is different, and that’s okay.
In this age of social media, it’s easy to compare ourselves to other moms who seem to have it all together. But remember, you’re only seeing a carefully curated highlight reel, not the full picture.
Your journey is unique because your child is unique. No two children are the same, so why should our parenting styles be?
Don’t let someone else’s journey make you feel less about yours. You’re doing amazing in your own way, and that’s what truly matters.
This was a hard one for me to come to terms with: it’s okay to put myself first sometimes.
I used to feel guilty every time I took time for myself, whether it was going for a run or simply sitting down with a good book. But over time, I realized that neglecting my own needs wasn’t doing anyone any favors.
In fact, by always putting myself last, I was slowly burning out and that wasn’t good for me or my kids.
Now, I understand the importance of self-care and how it indirectly benefits my children too. So remember, you’re allowed – no, you’re encouraged – to put yourself first sometimes. It doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you a healthier, happier mom. And that’s a win-win for everyone.
This may seem strange, but feeling guilty can actually be a sign of love.
When we love someone deeply, we want the absolute best for them. So when we feel like we’re falling short in any way, it’s only natural that guilt creeps in.
But here’s the twist: it’s because of the immense love you have for your child that you feel this guilt. It’s a sign of your commitment, your desire to give them the world.
So instead of letting guilt consume you, try to see it as a reminder of your deep affection. And then channel that love into being the best mom you can be – guilt and all.
Here’s a truth that took me a while to embrace: it’s completely okay to ask for help.
Whether it’s reaching out to a family member, friend, or professional, asking for support does not mean you’re failing as a mom.
On the contrary, it shows strength and a willingness to do what’s best for your child.
Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. Don’t let mom guilt convince you that you have to do it all on your own. We all need support sometimes, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.
The most important truth about mom guilt? You’re doing a great job.
Despite the doubts, the guilt, and the constant self-questioning, you’re showing up every day for your child. You’re providing them with love, care, and everything they need to thrive.
Don’t let mom guilt convince you otherwise. You’re doing an incredible job. And that’s not just a harsh truth – it’s the truth.
As we close this chapter, I hope you take a moment to reflect on your journey as a mother.
Motherhood, with all its joy and challenges, is a unique journey. There’s laughter, tears, victories, and yes, even guilt. But it’s this eclectic mix that makes it such a rewarding experience.
As renowned author Elizabeth Stone once said, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
And with your heart walking around outside your body, it’s only natural to worry, to question and yes, even feel guilty. But remember, you’re not alone and most importantly – you’re doing a great job.
So as we part ways, let’s not view mom guilt as a burden. Instead, let’s see it for what it truly is – a testament to our love and commitment towards our children. Because in the end, isn’t that what truly matters?
The post 8 harsh truths about mom guilt that every mother needs to hear appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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