When a narcissist praises you, you feel on top of the world. When they shame you, you’re in the pits. That’s the surface level interaction with a narcissist.
Look closer though, and you’ll find a world of contradictions in their behavior. They preach one thing and do exactly the opposite, often without even realizing it.
In this article, we’ll be diving into those 8 specific things that narcissists tend to be hypocritical about, without even a clue.
A little forewarning though – once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Let’s unravel this together, shall we?
Narcissists have a thing for honesty. They demand it, preach about it, and hold it as a virtue above all else.
But here’s the catch – they aren’t always honest themselves.
Narcissists are known for their grandiose stories and exaggerated self-importance.
They bend the truth to fit their narrative and to put themselves in the best light possible.
All while demanding absolute honesty from others, of course. The irony, right?
This isn’t always intentional. Often, they genuinely believe in their own distorted version of reality.
It’s hypocrisy but of a unique kind – one they themselves fail to see.
“Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” This is a phrase narcissists love to use.
They preach about the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
But when it comes to actually showing empathy themselves, it’s a whole different story.
I remember an ex-friend of mine – a textbook narcissist.
He would constantly stress the importance of understanding and empathy, especially when he was on the receiving end.
But when I was going through a tough breakup, he barely acknowledged my pain. Instead, he brushed it off, saying I was “overreacting” and “needed to move on”.
His lack of empathy was startling, especially considering how much he valued it in others.
It’s this unaware hypocrisy that’s so characteristic of narcissists.
Narcissists have a unique relationship with perfection.
They expect it from everyone around them but often fail to uphold the same standards for themselves.
They set high bars for others, demanding flawless performance and quick results.
Unfortunately, they often fall short of these same expectations in their own lives.
This may be due to something called the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias where people with low ability at a task overestimate their capability.
Narcissists, believing they’re superior, often think they’re performing better than they actually are.
The irony here is that while demanding perfection from others, narcissists themselves are far from perfect – though they might not realize it.
Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
Narcissists understand this, and they demand respect from everyone around them. They want their opinions heard, their boundaries respected, and their presence acknowledged.
But when it comes to showing respect to others, narcissists often fall short.
They dismiss others’ opinions, cross boundaries without hesitation, and have a tendency to monopolize conversations.
The respect they demand so fiercely from others is often not reciprocated, creating an imbalance in their relationships.
This lack of mutual respect is a classic sign of narcissistic hypocrisy. It’s as if they believe respect is a one-way street, meant only for them to receive.
Narcissists often talk about the importance of kindness. They encourage others to be kind, to help others in need, and to make the world a better place.
But when it comes to their own actions, they’re not always as kind as they urge others to be.
I’ve seen this first-hand. A narcissist I know often talks about the importance of community service and helping those less fortunate, but invariably finds an excuse to avoid any actual volunteering or charitable work.
Their words and actions didn’t align. It was an eye-opening experience for me and a clear example of narcissistic hypocrisy.
They preach kindness but fail to practice it themselves.
Narcissists often portray themselves as strong and invincible. They exude confidence and rarely, if ever, show signs of weakness.
However, they expect others to be open and vulnerable with them.
They want to know all your fears, insecurities, and shortcomings. This gives them a sense of power and control.
The contradiction here is subtle but profound. While they demand vulnerability from others, narcissists are often the least likely to show any themselves.
They want to see your soft underbelly while keeping theirs hidden away. It’s an unspoken rule in their playbook that’s as baffling as it is revealing.
Accountability is a big one. Narcissists are quick to point out when others make mistakes or don’t live up to their responsibilities.
They expect everyone else to own up to their actions and face the consequences.
But when they make a mistake? Suddenly, the rules change. Excuses are made, blame is shifted, and somehow, it’s never really their fault.
This double standard when it comes to accountability is a classic trait of narcissistic hypocrisy. They expect others to be accountable while evading responsibility themselves.
The “do as I say, not as I do” attitude is in full swing here.
At the heart of all these points, there’s one fundamental principle that narcissists often overlook: fairness.
They expect others to treat them with respect, honesty, and kindness, but often fail to reciprocate.
They demand fairness from others while denying it themselves. This hypocrisy is at the core of their interactions with others.
Remember, narcissists may not realize their own hypocrisy. But understanding this can help you navigate your interactions with them more effectively.
If you’ve journeyed this far with us, hopefully, you’ve gained a deeper understanding of the complex world of narcissism and its inherent contradictions.
Remember, the key to dealing with narcissists is not to condemn them, but to understand their mindset and adapt our interactions accordingly.
Narcissism, like most things, is not black and white. It’s a spectrum where people can lie anywhere between mild and extreme.
The contradictions and hypocrisies we’ve discussed are not meant to vilify, but to educate.
After all, as the saying goes, “Knowledge is power”.
Understanding these nuances gives us the power to navigate our relationships more effectively.
It allows us to stand firm when needed and show empathy when possible.
So let’s keep learning, keep growing, and remember – everyone has their own battles. Even narcissists.
The post 8 things in life narcissists tend to be hypocritical about (without realizing it) appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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