As individuals, it is crucial to have friends who genuinely care for us, respect us, and treat us with fairness.
False friends, however, lack these qualities. Instead, they may instill feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and insignificance in us.
False friendships are those where your supposed ‘friend’ is not truly supportive or loyal, and this can often manifest in subtle psychological ways.
They may show signs of envy, competitiveness or may constantly belittle you. Sadly, the intensity of this behaviour can escalate over time and is not always obvious in the early stages of the friendship.
Here are some psychological signs and traits to identify if you have a false friend in your life.
Undermining isn’t always as blatant as public humiliation or belittling your achievements. Sometimes, it can occur subtly and gradually over a long period of time.
Often, when it transpires, you might not be aware until you find yourself doubting your self-worth, abilities, and achievements.
You may notice that your supposed friend often belittles your accomplishments or ideas. Maybe they mockingly dismiss your new hobby or subtly suggest that your promotion was undeserving.
In other instances, they may “forget” to congratulate you on important milestones or make a seemingly harmless joke at your expense.
They could also trivialize your problems, making you feel like your feelings are unimportant or invalidated.
These actions can slowly chip away at your confidence and self-esteem, leaving you feeling inadequate and undervalued. This, according to psychology, is one of the surefire signs of a false friend in your life.
Ever noticed that your friend never seems to be at fault?
Regardless of the situation, they always paint themselves as the victim, even if their actions led to the predicament.
This constant playing of the victim card is a manipulative tactic known as victim mentality. It’s a way of evading responsibility and guilt by shifting the blame onto others.
For instance, if they forget your birthday, instead of apologizing, they might say something along the lines of, “I’ve been so stressed lately, you should understand.”
This not only absolves them of their mistake but also makes you feel guilty for supposedly not being empathetic.
In every scenario, they’re the one who’s wronged, misunderstood or taken advantage of.
You might think that a friend who is extremely nice and always showering you with compliments is a good friend.
However, this could potentially be a sign of a false friend.
This doesn’t mean that every nice person is a false friend, but it’s important to look at the sincerity behind these actions.
A false friend might use their niceness as a strategy to keep you close and manipulate you.
For example, they might compliment you excessively only to later use this as leverage when they need something from you.
Or they may use their kindness to guilt you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
Being overly nice can often mask their true intentions, creating an imbalance in your friendship and leaving you feeling indebted to them.
We all have moments in life when we need a shoulder to lean on, a friend to confide in. But when the going gets tough, your supposed friend is nowhere to be found.
This is not about them being busy or having their own issues. It’s about repeated patterns of disappearing when you’re in distress, only to resurface when they need something or when it’s convenient for them.
Maybe they ignored your call when you were going through a breakup, or conveniently “forgot” to reply to your messages when you were dealing with a family emergency.
These moments of absence during your times of need can be painful and isolating.
And it’s not something a true friend would do. It’s raw, it’s harsh, but it’s the truth – this is a sign of a false friend.
True friends take joy in each other’s victories, no matter how big or small they may be.
But a false friend? They might not share in your happiness the way a genuine friend would.
Sure, they might say the right words, but their actions and body language can tell a different story. They may seem disinterested, change the subject quickly, or even subtly downplay your achievements.
It’s not about them being envious or insecure – everyone has their moments of weakness. It’s about a consistent pattern of lack of enthusiasm or genuine happiness for your accomplishments.
It can feel disheartening to have someone close to you not celebrate your wins. But remember, it’s more about them than it is about you.
We’ve all had those conversations where it feels like we’re just a sounding board for the other person.
They’re always eager to share every detail of their life, but when it’s your turn to speak, they seem disinterested or quickly steer the conversation back to them.
If your friend constantly dominates conversations and shows little interest in your thoughts, feelings, or experiences, it can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant.
It’s not always about grand stories or significant life events, but simple everyday things like how your day was, what you’re excited about, or what’s bothering you.
A true friendship involves a two-way exchange of ideas and emotions. If it feels like a one-way street, this could be a sign of a false friend.
In a friendly game of table tennis or trivia night, a bit of competition can be fun and exciting. But have you ever had a friend who seems to turn every little thing into a competition?
It could be as silly as who can finish their meal first, or who got the better deal on a pair of jeans.
Suddenly, it’s no longer about having fun or sharing experiences, but about outdoing each other.
If your friend constantly needs to be ‘one-up’ on you, even over the most trivial things, it can turn a light-hearted friendship into a constant battle.
True friends rejoice in each other’s happiness. False friends? Not so much. If you notice a friend consistently failing to be happy when you’re happy, that’s a red flag.
Imagine you share exciting news about a new relationship or job promotion, and instead of being thrilled for you, your friend responds with indifference, gives a lukewarm reaction, or tries to change the subject.
This is not about them having a bad day. It’s about a consistent pattern of lack of enthusiasm for your happiness.
It’s tough love, but someone who can’t be happy for your joy is not a true friend. It’s time to reassess that friendship and consider whether it’s beneficial for your emotional well-being.
At the heart of every healthy relationship, be it a friendship or otherwise, is respect – and this includes respect for personal boundaries.
A false friend may consistently overstep these boundaries, whether by sharing your secrets, making you feel uncomfortable with their words or actions, or repeatedly crossing lines even after you’ve communicated your discomfort.
It’s important to remember that your feelings, thoughts, and personal space deserve respect.
Any friend who disregards these boundaries is not truly a friend. This is perhaps the most crucial sign of a false friend and one you should always remember.
If you’ve identified with one or more of these signs, you may be dealing with a false friend. This isn’t an easy realization, and the feelings that come with it can be challenging to navigate.
True friends celebrate with us when life is good and they lend a shoulder or an ear when life’s challenges get thrown our way. False friends may be around for the parties, but they are conspicuously absent when we need a listening ear or emotional support.
Recognizing a false friend is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It’s about understanding that not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay, and that’s okay.
This article isn’t meant to label your friend as ‘false’ definitively. Instead, it’s here to help you identify patterns of behavior that might be detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being.
Having one or two of these signs doesn’t make your friend a false friend outright. But it’s a good cause for re-evaluating whether or not you’re thriving in this friendship.
Take some time to reflect on these points, consider your feelings, and remember – it’s not only about how much you care for them but also how they treat you.
Because at the end of the day, true friendship is a two-way street based on mutual respect, understanding, and love.
The post 9 signs you have a false friend in your life, according to psychology appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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