As a human being, I understand the importance of friendships in our lives. They provide us with a sense of belonging and make us feel valued and respected.
However, certain toxic traits could sabotage these relationships. These traits lead to individuals struggling to maintain long-term friendships, often feeling isolated and misunderstood.
As a psychologist, I have observed these patterns in people who find it difficult to sustain friendships. These individuals often exhibit certain behaviors that seem to push others away, making it hard for them to form lasting bonds.
In this article, I will share eight common traits that these individuals possess according to psychology. With this information, you can identify and possibly rectify these behaviors in your own life or help others who might be struggling.
Inconsistency can often be a tell-tale sign of someone who struggles to maintain friendships. This trait isn’t always easy to spot, but it can manifest itself in several ways and can gradually wear down the essence of a friendship.
You might notice that these individuals are hot and cold with their feelings – one day they’re your best friend, the next day they’re distant and aloof. Or perhaps they frequently cancel plans, leaving you feeling uncertain and frustrated.
This inconsistency could also come in the form of broken promises or a lack of commitment to plans or goals. They might promise to be there for a special occasion, only to back out at the last minute without a valid reason.
Over time, this erratic behavior can become exhausting and lead to the deterioration of friendships, leaving these individuals feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial element in maintaining meaningful friendships. However, individuals who struggle to sustain friendships often show a significant lack of this attribute.
You might notice that these individuals struggle to grasp the gravity of your feelings during tough times. Maybe they dismiss your emotions as overreactions or fail to provide the support you need.
In joyous times, they might not share your excitement or may even downplay your achievements. This lack of emotional reciprocity can leave you feeling unvalued and misunderstood.
Sadly, this lack of empathy often creates an emotional barrier that hinders the development of a deep, meaningful bond, eventually leading to the breakdown of friendships.
Being independent and self-reliant is generally seen as a positive trait. However, when taken to the extreme, it can become a barrier to maintaining long-lasting friendships.
These individuals often pride themselves on not needing anyone else. They handle their problems alone and rarely seek advice or emotional support. While this may sound admirable on the surface, it often leads to a one-sided friendship where they’re always giving but never receiving.
Moreover, their excessive self-sufficiency can come off as them being detached or uninterested in others’ lives. They might not ask for help even when they need it, creating a distance that eventually strains the friendship.
This kind of relationship dynamic can leave friends feeling underappreciated and unneeded, gradually leading to the dissolution of the friendship.
Apologizing when we’re wrong is an integral part of any relationship, including friendships. It shows that we value the relationship more than our egos. However, some individuals find it incredibly hard to say “I’m sorry.”
These individuals often justify their actions, no matter how hurtful they may be, instead of acknowledging their mistakes. They might shift blame onto others or even deny the incident altogether.
This stubborn refusal to apologize can leave their friends feeling disrespected and undervalued. It creates a cycle of unresolved conflicts that can slowly erode the foundation of the friendship.
Unfortunately, until these individuals learn to swallow their pride and apologize sincerely, maintaining healthy, long-term friendships will remain a significant challenge for them.
Personal insecurities can have a profound impact on friendships. It’s not unusual for people to wrestle with self-doubt, but when insecurities dominate their actions and interactions, it can become a problem.
These individuals may often compare themselves to their friends, feeling inadequate or jealous of their successes. They might also seek constant reassurance or validation, which can be emotionally draining for the other person in the long run.
Remember, it’s not their fault they feel this way. Insecurities often stem from deep-rooted experiences or beliefs about oneself. However, until these individuals learn to manage their insecurities and grow self-confidence, they might find it hard to maintain meaningful and balanced friendships.
It’s important to approach such situations with kindness and understanding, encouraging them to seek help if necessary.
We all have our own lives, filled with responsibilities, interests, and personal pursuits. However, being too engrossed in one’s own world can often lead to neglecting friendships.
You might notice that these individuals rarely ask about your day or how you’re doing. Conversations with them might always revolve around their life, their problems, their achievements. They might often miss out on important events in your life or forget about plans you made together.
While it’s perfectly normal to focus on personal growth and aspirations, a balance is necessary. Friendships require mutual effort and interest in each other’s lives.
Until these individuals learn to step out of their bubble and show genuine interest in their friends’ lives, they might continue to struggle with maintaining long-lasting friendships.
A little friendly banter is part and parcel of most friendships. However, when the teasing becomes constant and crosses boundaries, it can strain the relationship.
These individuals often pass off their snide remarks or excessive teasing as ‘just jokes.’ But sometimes, these ‘jokes’ can hit a little too close to home, leaving their friends feeling uncomfortable or hurt.
Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. If the humor always seems to be at the expense of others, it can slowly chip away at the friendship.
To maintain healthy friendships, it’s essential to understand each other’s boundaries and ensure that humor brings joy, not discomfort or embarrassment.
Friendships are a two-way street. They require effort, time, and genuine interest from both parties. Unfortunately, some individuals fail to understand this fundamental aspect of maintaining friendships.
You might notice that these individuals rarely initiate plans or conversations. They might always be ‘too busy’ or ‘too tired’ to meet up or even catch up over a phone call. It might feel like you’re always the one doing all the heavy lifting in the friendship.
While everyone has their own lives to handle, using it as an excuse to neglect friendships consistently isn’t fair. If they truly value the friendship, they need to make time and put in the effort.
Tough love time – if they don’t, it might be time for you to reassess if the friendship is truly worth your effort and energy.
While navigating friendships with people who possess these traits can be challenging, it’s crucial to remember that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
“Solid friendships give us something we all need, which is security and love through support,” says clinical psychologist, Dr Aileen Alegado.
If you’ve identified some of these traits in your friends or even in yourself, don’t despair. Change is possible, but it requires self-awareness, effort, and sometimes professional help.
Remember, friendships are meant to enrich our lives, providing us with support, joy, and companionship. If a friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained or unappreciated, it might be time to reassess its value in your life.
Ultimately, this article is not meant to label or judge individuals but to shed light on some behaviors that can hinder the formation and maintenance of healthy friendships.
In the end, what matters most is that our friendships bring happiness and positivity into our lives. So take a moment, reflect on your relationships, and strive for those that truly uplift you.
The post 8 traits of people who can never maintain friendships, says a psychologist appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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