For years, I was the proverbial moth to a flame when it came to heartbreak.
The dream was simple:
– Fulfilling relationships
– Genuine connection
– Emotional stability
– Love, pure and uncomplicated.
Yet, I seemed to have a knack for picking the wrong people.
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, a psychology enthusiast who’s been through his fair share of romantic pitfalls.
In my late 20s, I found myself nursing one heartbreak after another. Whether it was friends or romantic partners, it seemed as though I was a magnet for emotionally draining relationships.
It was like walking around with a target on my back, asking for heartbreak.
Then, I stumbled upon some psychological studies that opened my eyes. There are seven types of people that are practically guaranteed to break your heart.
In this article, I’m going to share these types with you. It’s my hope that this knowledge will save you some of the heartache I’ve experienced.
Let’s dive in.
This person seems to be always at the receiving end of life’s injustices. They never take responsibility for their actions and are constantly blaming others for their misfortunes.
While it’s natural to feel empathy for someone who appears to have been dealt a tough hand, this constant victimhood can drain you emotionally. You might find yourself constantly trying to ‘fix’ their problems, only to realize that new ones always seem to appear.
Over time, this cycle can take a toll on your emotional health and lead to heartbreak.
I know because I’ve been there. I’ve tried to be the knight in shining armor, stepping in to save the day. But ultimately, it left me drained and disillusioned.
It’s a hard truth, but some people are deeply committed to their narratives of victimhood, and there’s little you can do to change that.
It’s not about being uncaring or cold-hearted; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
Now, I’ve had my fair share of encounters with this type of person. A few years back, I was in a relationship with someone who could be described as the textbook definition of a narcissist.
She was charming, charismatic, and incredibly confident. But as time went on, I noticed that everything always had to revolve around her. My needs, my thoughts, my feelings – they were all secondary to hers.
I was constantly trying to keep up with her grandiose sense of self, constantly trying to validate her and make her feel special. It was exhausting and in the end, it broke my heart.
It’s important to note that not all narcissists are easy to spot. They can be charismatic and charming, drawing you into their world before you realize what’s happening.
But remember, a relationship should be about mutual respect and understanding, not just serving one person’s needs or ego. Because in the end, your heart matters too.
I remember dating someone who always seemed to twist my words, making me doubt my own thoughts and feelings. It was like walking on eggshells. I never knew what would set her off, and no matter what I did, it always seemed to be my fault.
Emotional manipulators are experts at playing with your feelings. They’re skilled at making you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault, downplaying their own wrongdoings, and constantly shifting the blame onto you.
In my case, every argument we had somehow ended with me apologizing, even when I wasn’t in the wrong. It was a constant cycle of guilt and confusion.
This kind of emotional manipulation can lead to a toxic relationship, leaving you feeling drained and emotionally exhausted. It’s a swift road to heartbreak.
Everyone deserves respect and understanding in a relationship – don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
I once dated someone who, despite being together for quite a while, was always hesitant to take our relationship to the next level. Every time the topic of moving in together or future plans came up, she would become evasive or change the subject.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that fear of commitment can be a predictive factor of relationship dissatisfaction. In other words, dating a commitment-phobe can lead to an unsatisfying relationship and eventual heartbreak.
In my case, her constant avoidance of commitment left me feeling insecure and unsure about our future. It was like being in romantic limbo, never knowing where we stood or where we were heading.
Remember, everyone has the right to want a committed relationship. If you’re with someone who can’t or won’t give you that commitment, it might save you a lot of heartache to reconsider the relationship.
I once had a friend who found fault in everything I did. Whether it was my choice of clothes, my career, or even my hobbies, he always had something negative to say. Over time, his constant criticism began to chip away at my self-esteem.
When someone is always critical of you, it can make you feel inadequate and unworthy. It’s a form of emotional abuse that can have long-term effects on your self-esteem and mental health.
In my case, I eventually realized that this friendship was more harmful than beneficial. It took a while, but I finally made the decision to distance myself from him.
Remember that everyone deserves respect and kindness. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. It’s okay to step away from people who bring negativity into your life.
I once had a boss who was the epitome of a control freak. She wanted to micromanage every aspect of our work, from the smallest details to the overall direction of our projects. It felt suffocating.
Control freaks have a need to dictate every aspect of your life, often justifying their behavior as concern or love. In my case, I found myself constantly trying to meet her unrealistic expectations and feeling inadequate when I couldn’t. It was a constant cycle of stress and anxiety.
It’s important to establish boundaries and stand up for yourself. After all, everyone deserves respect and autonomy in their personal and professional life.
I remember having a friend who relied on me for everything. From making decisions to offering emotional support, she seemed incapable of doing anything without my input. It felt as though I was responsible for her happiness.
While it’s natural to lean on others for support, an excessive amount of dependency can lead to an unhealthy dynamic. It can create immense pressure and drain you emotionally, leaving little room for your own needs.
In my case, I felt overwhelmed by her constant need for reassurance and support. It was exhausting and eventually took a toll on our friendship.
If you’re dealing with someone who’s overly dependent on you, it’s important to encourage them to develop their own sense of autonomy. Direct them to resources that can help them grow, such as self-help books or professional therapy.
And remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs. Set boundaries that ensure your own emotional well-being. After all, as the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Heartbreak, while inevitable, can be lessened if we learn to identify the types of people who are more likely to cause it. Whether it’s the perpetual victim, the narcissist, or the overly dependent, being aware of these personalities can help us make better choices in our relationships.
It’s essential to remember that everyone deserves respect, love, and a healthy relationship. If you find yourself entangled with someone who consistently causes you pain or distress, it might be time to reconsider that relationship.
And most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek help. Whether it’s from trusted friends, family, or a professional therapist, getting an outside perspective can provide valuable insights and guidance.
As a final piece of advice: Trust your gut. If something feels off in a relationship, it probably is. Listen to your instincts and prioritize your emotional wellbeing. After all, your heart isn’t just for breaking; it’s also for embracing love, joy, and healthy relationships.
The post 7 types of people that are guaranteed to break your heart, according to psychology appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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