Let’s be honest—eye contact can feel weird.
For some of us, it’s like a game of “how long is too long?” while fighting the urge to glance away.
Even though it’s such a natural part of communication, it can also be one of the hardest to get right.
A lot of this struggle comes from habits we don’t even realize we’ve picked up—little things that seem harmless but end up creating distance in our connections with others.
The truth is, good eye contact isn’t about locking eyes in some intense stare-off. It’s about being present, showing you care, and building trust.
The good news? These habits aren’t set in stone.
By ditching just eight of them, you can make eye contact feel easier, more natural, and way more impactful.
We live in a digital world.
I get it.
We’re often juggling multiple devices at the same time and it can be hard to resist a quick glance at a notification or an incoming email.
But here’s the thing. This habit can seriously affect your ability to maintain eye contact during conversations.
Every time you look away from the person you’re talking to, to check your phone or smartwatch, you’re sending a message. And that message is that whatever’s happening on your device is more important than them.
It’s not just about being rude. It’s about breaking that vital connection that eye contact helps to create.
Confession time.
I used to be so conscious of how I was being perceived in a conversation that I barely focused on the person I was talking to.
I’d worry about whether I was nodding at the right time, or if my expressions were appropriate.
And guess what? All this self-monitoring took my attention away from maintaining eye contact.
It’s easy to fall into this habit, especially when you’re nervous or trying to make a good impression. But it’s important to remember that conversations are about connection, not performance.
Once I started shifting my focus from myself to the other person, my ability to maintain eye contact improved significantly. It made me less self-conscious and more engaged in the conversation.
So next time you find yourself in a conversation, try to let go of these worries and just be present. You might be surprised by the difference it makes.
Eye contact isn’t a precise science.
In fact, studies have shown that there’s quite a bit of variation in how much eye contact people are comfortable with. On average, though, most people prefer to maintain eye contact for about 60% to 70% of a conversation.
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to hit the “right” amount of eye contact. But this can actually distract you from the conversation itself and make your eye contact feel forced or unnatural.
Instead of obsessing over numbers, focus on making your eye contact feel natural and comfortable. It’s better to occasionally look away than to stare unblinkingly into someone’s eyes for the entire conversation.
Eye contact is only one aspect of communication.
Body language plays a huge role too. If you’re slumped in your chair or fidgeting nervously, it can be hard to maintain consistent eye contact.
It’s like trying to juggle while riding a bike – you’re bound to drop the ball somewhere. And more often than not, it’s the eye contact that suffers.
So, pay attention to the rest of your body as well. Stand or sit up straight, keep your movements calm and controlled, and try to minimize distractions.
That way, you can focus more on maintaining eye contact without worrying about what the rest of your body is doing. Trust me, it makes a big difference.
Eye contact can feel incredibly intimate.
It’s like opening a window to your soul, allowing othersto see your emotions and thoughts.
This can be scary, and it’s natural to want to look away.
But vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength. It shows courage, authenticity, and the desire to connect on a deeper level.
When we avoid eye contact because we’re scared of being seen, we miss out on meaningful connections. We miss the chance to truly understand and be understood.
So, let’s embrace this vulnerability. Let’s look into each other’s eyes with the understanding that it’s okay to be seen, to be authentic. Because in the end, that’s what truly matters.
This might sound funny, but I used to forget to blink when I was trying to maintain eye contact.
I was so determined to keep my gaze steady that I wouldn’t blink for an awkwardly long time. It would make my eyes dry out and I would eventually have to look away, breaking the eye contact.
Blinking is a natural process and it’s important to remember that it doesn’t break the flow of eye contact. In fact, it can make your gaze feel more natural and less intense.
So don’t be like me. Don’t get so caught up in maintaining eye contact that you forget to blink. Your eyes will thank you for it.
Let’s admit it.
We all zone out during conversations sometimes. Maybe you’re tired, bored, or just distracted. But when your mind starts to wander, your eye contact often suffers as a result.
You might find yourself looking around the room, checking your phone, or just staring blankly at something else. This not only breaks eye contact but also sends a clear message that you’re not fully engaged in the conversation.
Maintaining focus during conversations is key to consistent eye contact. If you find your attention drifting, make a conscious effort to bring it back. It can be as simple as taking a deep breath, re-centering yourself, and refocusing on the person you’re talking to.
Just like any other skill, good eye contact can be learned, practiced and improved over time. It’s not something you’re either born with or not.
Sure, it may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but with time and practice, you’ll get better at it. You’ll start feeling more confident in your conversations and build deeper connections with the people around you.
So don’t let self-doubt hold you back. You’re more capable than you know. And remember, every great journey begins with a single step.
The beauty of human interaction lies in its complexity.
It’s a delicate dance of verbal cues, body language, and yes, eye contact.
Maintaining eye contact during conversations can feel challenging, it can even feel awkward. But it’s important to remember that it’s not just about looking at someone. It’s about making a connection, understanding, and being understood.
Eye contact is a powerful tool that can help transform the quality of our conversations and relationships. It’s about showing the other person that you’re present, that you’re listening, that they matter.
So let’s not shy away from it. Let’s embrace the discomfort, say goodbye to these habits, and take a step towards more meaningful connections.
The post If you struggle with maintaining eye contact during conversations, say goodbye to these 8 habits appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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