We’ve all encountered someone whose stories just don’t seem to add up.
Maybe it’s the coworker who constantly exaggerates their achievements, the friend whose tales feel a little too good to be true, or the person who always seems to have an excuse that shifts the blame.
While occasional fibs are human, compulsive liars take it to another level, weaving lies into everyday interactions—often without even realizing the full impact of their behavior.
Dealing with a compulsive liar can be confusing and frustrating. You want to trust them, but the inconsistencies in their words make it impossible to fully believe what they say.
In this article, we’ll look at eight common behaviors that can help you recognize if someone in your life might be a compulsive liar.
Lies are as tricky as a house of cards.
They stack up, one on top of another, and the higher they get, the harder it becomes to keep them from tumbling down—every time they do, a compulsive liar has to rebuild their deceitful tower.
However, for those on the receiving end of these lies, it can be a tad trickier to see through the facade.
But there’s one thing that can give them away—inconsistency.
A compulsive liar spins tales so often that they might forget what they’ve said previously.
Their stories change, details shift, and before you know it, they’re telling you a completely different version of the same event.
Like a deceptive dance, the liar leads—spinning and twisting the truth, trying to keep you off balance.
And one of their favorite moves? Avoiding direct answers.
I remember I once had a friend who was a master at this: Every time I asked him a direct question, he would redirect the conversation or give a vague, non-committal response.
He would use humor or change the subject entirely, anything to avoid giving me a straight answer.
For example, when I asked him if he had been the one to accidentally break my camera during a party, he responded with, “Who can remember what happened at that crazy party?” instead of saying yes or no.
At this point, I’m guessing you can recall a few—hopefully only a few—people already.
Compulsive liars tend to create grandiose narratives about themselves, painting pictures of triumphs and successes that may not be real.
Psychologists suggest this behavior stems from low self-esteem; by inventing these elaborate tales, compulsive liars feel a temporary sense of worth and validation, even if it’s based on a lie.
However, as author and researcher Sebastian Ocklenburg elaborates in Psychology Today, lying actually lowers the liar’s self-esteem and leads to negative emotions instead of lifting up their spirits.
In a sense, they often do this to gain admiration or sympathy from others without knowing its negative consequences to themselves.
Lies can be a lot like a poorly written novel—they’re often packed with too many unnecessary details, as if the liar is trying to convince not just you, but themselves as well.
Instead of saying they were late because of traffic, a compulsive liar might weave an elaborate tale about a ten-car pile-up, a heroic rescue, and a police chase—all of which conveniently made them late.
It’s almost as if they believe that the more they embellish, the more believable their lie becomes.
Our bodies have a language of their own, and sometimes, they reveal more than our words do—especially when they lie.
For me, it’s all about the eyes; I’ve noticed that when someone is lying, they may avoid eye contact or their eyes might dart around nervously.
On the other hand, some liars might maintain intense eye contact, as if trying to prove their honesty.
Fortunately for us, it’s not just the eyes—other signs could include fidgeting, touching their face frequently, or even crossing their arms defensively.
If you pay close attention to these subtle body language cues, you just might uncover a compulsive liar.
It sounds paradoxical, but compulsive liars occasionally use moments of honesty to their advantage.
By admitting to small, inconsequential lies, they build an image of themselves as honest individuals—this makes their larger, more significant lies seem more believable.
For example, they might openly admit to forgetting to reply to your text or being late for a meeting.
These admissions of guilt make them appear trustworthy and upfront.
Lies often fill the void of silence—compulsive liars have a tendency to fill every pause, every quiet moment with words.
Silence makes them uncomfortable because it leaves room for their lies to be questioned or their stories to unravel.
There are times when they may talk incessantly, jumping from one topic to another, or even repeat their stories to ensure there’s no moment of silence that could lead to scrutiny.
The most telling sign of a compulsive liar is their refusal to accept undeniable truths.
As the UK Therapy Guide says, “When called out on their behaviour, pathological liars deny everything, becoming defensive or hostile.”
Admitting to the truth would shatter the illusion they’ve worked so hard to create—an illusion that could also warp their perception of the truth later on.
You know you’re dealing with a compulsive liar if they continue to deny the truth despite clear evidence.
Recognizing the signs of a compulsive liar can save you from unnecessary frustration and emotional strain.
While it’s not always easy to confront this behavior, understanding it allows you to set healthy boundaries and manage your expectations.
Remember, you can’t change someone who isn’t ready to be honest with themselves, but you can control how much you let their behavior affect you.
Prioritize your well-being and focus on building relationships rooted in trust and authenticity. The more aware you are, the better equipped you’ll be to handle difficult situations with clarity and confidence.
The post If you recognize these 8 behaviors, you’re almost certainly dealing with a compulsive liar appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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