Being intriguing and interesting to new people is more about what you don’t do, rather than what you do.
And as a mindfulness enthusiast and founder of Hack Spirit, I’ve come to realize that there are certain behaviors we need to let go of, if we truly want to be captivating.
Steering clear of these behaviors doesn’t mean being fake or trying to be someone else.
On the contrary, it’s about being the best version of yourself.
In this article, I’ll share with you the 8 behaviors you should say goodbye to, if you want to leave a lasting impression on new people.
It’s not about changing who you are, but refining how you present yourself.
It’s a common misconception that to be interesting, you need to talk about yourself a lot. But the reality is quite the opposite.
People are naturally drawn to those who show genuine interest in others.
If you’re always talking about yourself, your achievements, or your problems, people might perceive you as self-centered and uninterested in them. This can be off-putting for many.
Try to shift your focus from yourself to those around you. Ask questions, show empathy, and listen actively. That’s how you truly engage with people and leave a lasting impression.
As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers said:
“Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding – to see the idea and attitude from the other person’s point of view, to sense how it feels to them, to achieve their frame of reference in regard to the thing they are talking about.”
When I was younger, I used to hide my love for mindfulness and meditation.
I thought people might find it weird or boring. But as I grew older, I realized that these are the things that make me who I am.
Hiding your passions, interests, or quirks in an attempt to blend in can actually make you less intriguing to others.
Your quirks are what make you unique, and showcasing them can make you stand out and be more memorable.
Truth is, people are drawn to authenticity. So don’t be afraid to let your quirks shine. You might be surprised at how many people find them interesting and even relatable.
As the saying goes, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Many people shy away from deep, meaningful conversations, fearing they might be too intense or personal.
But it’s these deeper discussions that can truly make you more interesting and intriguing to others.
Surface-level conversations might be safe and comfortable, but they rarely leave a lasting impression.
It’s when we dive deeper and share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences that we truly connect with others.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve into the importance of mindful communication.
It’s not just about the words we say but also about how we listen and connect on a deeper level.
By being open to more profound conversations, you allow others to see a different side of you – one that is thoughtful, curious, and genuinely interested in understanding the world and the people in it.
Negativity can be a significant turn-off.
It’s hard to enjoy spending time with someone who’s always complaining, criticizing, or focusing on the worst aspects of a situation.
Psychological studies have shown that positivity attracts people. A positive attitude can make you seem more approachable, friendly, and interesting. It shows that you’re resilient and can handle life’s ups and downs with grace.
This doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time or pretend everything is perfect. It’s about maintaining a balanced perspective and focusing on solutions rather than problems.
Practice gratitude, train your mind to see the good in situations, and try to keep a positive outlook on life. This shift in mindset can dramatically influence how others perceive you.
Always being available can actually make you less interesting to others.
If you’re always at someone’s beck and call, they might start taking your time and presence for granted.
It can also give the impression that you don’t have much going on in your life, which is not particularly intriguing.
This doesn’t mean you should play hard to get or ignore people. It’s about setting boundaries and understanding the value of your time.
Like it or not, scarcity creates value. If your time is scarce, it becomes more valuable to others. Plus, having your own life, interests, and commitments shows that you’re independent and interesting.
Many of us shy away from being vulnerable because we associate it with weakness or fear of judgment. But vulnerability is actually a strength and can make you more intriguing to others.
Sharing your fears, insecurities, and experiences shows that you’re human, just like everyone else. It makes you relatable and can create a deeper connection with others.
Being vulnerable also shows that you’re courageous and confident enough to show your true self, which can be incredibly attractive.
So don’t be afraid to open up and share your true self with others. You might be surprised at how much people appreciate your authenticity and courage.
As renowned psychologist Brené Brown said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
I realized early in my career that the way we present ourselves physically can have a significant impact on how others perceive us.
Body language plays a vital role in communication and can convey more than words.
Crossed arms, lack of eye contact, or constantly checking your phone can send a message that you’re not interested or engaged. This can be off-putting to others and make you seem less intriguing.
On the other hand, maintaining eye contact, leaning in during conversations, and using open body language can show that you’re genuinely interested and engaged.
Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal. So pay attention to your body language and ensure it aligns with your words.
Nobody enjoys conflict, and it’s natural to want to avoid disagreements. But having a difference of opinion isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
In fact, it can make you more interesting and intriguing to others.
Agreeing with everything someone says can come across as insincere or as though you’re trying too hard to please.
Having your own opinions and being willing to discuss them respectfully shows that you’re confident, thoughtful, and open-minded.
It’s not about arguing or trying to prove that you’re right. It’s about having a healthy exchange of ideas and learning from each other.
At the end of the day, being interesting and intriguing to new people boils down to one simple concept: authenticity.
Each of us is unique, with our own set of quirks, passions, and perspectives. Embracing these aspects and letting them shine is what truly makes us interesting.
In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve deeper into this concept.
Authenticity, as I see it, is an integral part of living a fulfilling life – not just for ourselves, but also in how we interact with others.
So as you navigate your journey towards becoming more intriguing to new people, remember to stay true to yourself.
Let go of behaviors that don’t serve you, embrace your uniqueness, and most importantly, be authentic.
The post If you want to be more interesting and intriguing to new people, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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