There’s a fine line between parenting and dictating.
Building a lifelong bond of love and respect with your children requires more than just good intentions—it takes self-awareness and the willingness to let go of behaviors that might create distance or resentment.
Some actions, though unintentional, can erode trust and connection over time.
In this article, I’ll introduce you to seven actions that could be pushing your kids away instead of bringing them closer.
Let’s hop on in, shall we?
One of the most critical skills in parenting is mastering the art of listening.
Often, as parents, we fall into the trap of constant lecturing.
We’re quick to share our wisdom or point out the ‘right way’ of doing things, but this behavior might be doing more harm than good.
Kids, just like adults, need to feel heard and understood; they want to express their thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and they want us, their parents, to listen.
When we lecture more and listen less, we risk making our kids feel like their opinions don’t matter—leading to resentment and a lack of respect.
Try putting your lecture on pause and opening your ears instead.
You might be surprised at how this small change can make a huge difference in your relationship.
I remember a time when my daughter, Emily, was upset because she wasn’t invited to a birthday party.
It seemed trivial to me. I mean, as an adult, not getting invited to a party is not the end of the world, but for Emily, it was a big deal.
Instead of acknowledging her feelings, I brushed it off and said something along the lines of, “Well, you can’t be invited to every party.”
Being dismissive of our kids’ feelings, no matter how trivial they seem to us, can lead to them feeling unheard and unimportant.
Your children might start thinking that their feelings don’t matter or they’re overreacting.
So now, I make a conscious effort to validate Emily’s feelings.
If she’s upset about something, I acknowledge it and let her know that it’s okay to feel the way she does.
Every child is unique, with their own set of strengths and weaknesses.
Yet, as parents, we sometimes fall into the trap of comparing our kids to others or setting expectations based on societal norms.
Studies show that children who are constantly pushed to meet unrealistic expectations often suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression; they may also harbor feelings of resentment toward their parents.
It’s essential to understand and accept your child for who they are.
Encourage their strengths, and help them work on their weaknesses, but never forget that they are their own person, not a mirror image of you or anyone else.
Acceptance and understanding are key to a healthy parent-child relationship.
We all make mistakes—it’s a part of being human!
For children, mistakes are an essential part of learning and growing.
However, as parents, we sometimes overreact when our kids mess up; we shout, we scold and, in the process, we create a fearful environment where our kids are scared to make mistakes.
This fear can hold them back from trying new things or taking risks, which are crucial for their development.
Remember, our role as parents is to guide and teach, not to instill fear.
The next time your child makes a mistake, take a deep breath and turn it into a teaching moment instead of a scolding session.
There was a day when I lost my temper with my son over something trivial: I shouted at him and saw the hurt in his eyes.
Later, my guilt took over, but I found it hard to apologize.
I mean, I’m the parent, right?
But that’s when I realized: It’s not about being right or wrong; it’s about setting an example.
By not apologizing, we send a message that it’s okay to hurt others and not take responsibility.
So, I swallowed my pride and apologized to my son—in that moment, I saw relief in his eyes.
This experience taught me that saying sorry makes me human and sets the right example for my children.
Being a parent can be all-consuming as we often put our kids’ needs before our own to the point where we neglect our own well-being.
However, this can lead to burnout and impact the quality of our parenting.
Our kids look up to us and often mirror our behaviors—if we’re constantly stressed out or tired, it sends them a message that self-care isn’t important.
Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary.
Whether it’s taking a short nap, reading a book, or going for a run—self-care helps replenish your energy and makes you a better parent.
Consistency is the cornerstone of effective parenting.
When we set rules and expectations, they need to be consistent; without it, our kids might feel confused or manipulated.
Inconsistent parenting can lead to insecurity and lack of trust as our kids need to know that they can rely on us and our word.
Children thrive on structure and predictability.
Being consistent in your parenting will help build a strong, trusting relationship between you and your child.
Parenting is a complex journey, filled with ups and downs, joy and challenges, triumphs and mistakes.
At the end of the day, it’s all about love and understanding, our children don’t need us to be perfect—they need us to be present, to listen, to understand, and to love them unconditionally.
As Lady Bird Johnson once said, “Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”
Your belief in your children, along with consistent love, respect, and understanding, can shape their lives in profound ways.
As you navigate parenthood, keep these seven points in mind.
They might not make you a perfect parent overnight, but they will help build a stronger, more loving relationship with your children.
When love and understanding are at the core of parenting, respect naturally follows.
The post If you want your kids to always love and respect you, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors appeared first on Small Business Bonfire.
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